Journal

Dispatches and speculations from the American roadside.



May 13, 2020

Remember

I’m writing these things down tonight because I want to look back in a few months and see if any of these dire predictions came true.

May 12, 2020

Scramble

Someone down the hall has been practicing “New York, New York” on their piano for the past hour.

May 11, 2020

Next

The triggers for fear are largely universal: loud noises, fast-moving objects, and the sudden loss of orientation. The loss of orientation has been sudden this year.

May 10, 2020

Seeds

I find solace in these instructions from Epictetus: do not say something is lost, only that it is returned.

May 9, 2020

Season

Time feels like an increasingly fictional concept as these weeks and months bleed into one very long day.

May 8, 2020

Opera

“I will create a world from the past,” she said, and she painted an audience on the walls and danced for them every Saturday night.

May 7, 2020

Mystery

“Everything’s a mystery and I’m just another small part of it,” said a woman at a gas station in Barstow.

May 6, 2020

Horizon

It’s becoming a nightly habit: scrolling through desert scenery while fantasizing about horizons, speed, and possibilities.

May 5, 2020

Options

People keep talking about a return to “normal,” as if there’s such a thing.

May 4, 2020

Coherence

My grandmother was tradition personified, a west side Polish Catholic who served Saturday night dinners of kielbasa and fried smelt.

May 3, 2020

Scold

There are advertisements on street corners and bus stops for events that will never occur.

May 2, 2020

Saturday

I wonder if I’ll ever get accustomed to the uneasy combination of sunshine and masks, as if we’re afraid of a perfect spring day.